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<\/h1>\nVernon couple open hearts, home to children with special needs<\/h1>\nBy Suzanne Carlson
\nJournal Inquirer<\/h5>\n
\nJournal Inquirer<\/h5>\n
<\/h1>\nPublished:\u00a0Friday, December 31, 2010 11:50 AM EST<\/p>\n
VERNON \u2014 David and Terri Greenier always have known they wanted a big family.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen Terri and I were 17 and 16 years old, which was three years after we met, we had been talking about how many kids we wanted if we ever got married. We both had the same number: 17,\u201d David, 50, said during a recent interview at the couple\u2019s rented four-bedroom home on Regan Street.<\/p>\n
Their family isn\u2019t quite that large yet, but it\u2019s getting close, and its warm home is filled with toys, books, restored clocks, colored drawings, and several pets. In addition to their four biological children, Martha, 26; Benjamin, 22; Sarah, 18; and Hannah, 16; the Greeniers adopted four more, Julia, 25; Erica, 12; Max, 11; and Shyheim, 12, who died Nov. 28.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s been a long, winding journey for the large and ever-growing family, which has formed a Christian ministry called \u201cLamb\u2019s Way,\u201d which seeks to support children with special health care needs and their families.<\/p>\n
The mood in the couple\u2019s home the night before Christmas Eve was warm and loving, but years before, Terri, 48, and David said their marriage was nearly torn apart.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy life was nothing at one point, Terri and I were in divorce court,\u201d David said. They married when David was 21 and Terri was 19, and five years later, \u201cWe were in a drug-infested area here in town, and basically what happened was alcohol, drugs, and affairs with other people \u2026 just really destroyed our marriage.\u201d<\/p>\n
Terri said she kicked David out of the home they shared with their daughter Martha and had his law enforcement brother scare him into giving up cocaine. After weeks of prayer, fighting, counseling, and discussion, they eventually reconciled the night before their first scheduled court date.<\/p>\n
Instead of splitting up, they fired their lawyers and, \u201cwe started all over again,\u201d Terri said.<\/p>\n
They can laugh about their painful past now \u2014 \u201cWhere else am I going to find anybody who will put up with me?\u201d David joked \u2014 but, \u201cit took lots of time, it took years for us to work it back together,\u201d Terri said.<\/p>\n
In addition to having their own children, the couple always wanted to adopt, so after consulting their biological children, they took in Shyheim shortly after he was born in April 1998.<\/p>\n
The still unnamed, 5-pound infant was suffering from the effects of drug exposure, but, \u201cthey said just take him home and treat him like a normal baby because we don\u2019t know what\u2019s wrong with him,\u201d David said.<\/p>\n
Over the next several months, the Greeniers realized their child was blind and severely disabled.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe had so many issues they couldn\u2019t even really give a clear diagnosis,\u201d David said.<\/p>\n
Among his other disorders, Shyheim suffered from microcephaly, a neurological disorder that Terri explained happens when brain doesn\u2019t grow to normal size and cannot carry out much of the body\u2019s functions.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe did not like being touched, he did not like being cuddled. \u2026 You couldn\u2019t give him a bath because he couldn\u2019t deal with the sensory input,\u201d David said.<\/p>\n
Eventually Shyheim became more used to the world and his symptoms such as seizures subsided, but he spent much of his short life in and out of the hospital with pneumonia and other complications.<\/p>\n
While David worked as a CNC lathe operator at a company in Bloomfield, Terri cared for Shyheim and the other children. Martha, who was 14 at the time, essentially ran the household for a couple weeks.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was just wrong, so we really started praying about it and the Lord really impressed upon me that Terri cannot do this alone,\u201d David said.<\/p>\n
After 13 years at a job he loved, he said God told him to quit and stay home, so he reluctantly told Terri the news.<\/p>\n
\u201cI said, \u2018Praise the Lord! He told me that three weeks ago!\u201d Terri said, laughing.<\/p>\n
The family took in another infant, Max, in March 2000, and a few days later, David left his job at the age of 38 and the family now relies on state funding and community support.<\/p>\n
Though they were hoping for a relatively healthy child, Max turned out to be hydrocephalic, a condition in which fluid in the skull squeezes the brain and must be drained regularly through a shunt.<\/p>\n
\u201cOnce they come in, we\u2019re committed no matter what, and so, there was no way I was going to send him back because there was a medical issue I didn\u2019t want to deal with,\u201d Terri said.<\/p>\n
Because of infections and other complications, Max\u2019s shunt, which is a tube inserted through a hole in the skull, had to be revised eight times in eight months.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere was a couple of times that he almost died,\u201d Terri said.<\/p>\n
And \u201cby the time he was 4, the neurologist told us that he was now a million-dollar baby,\u201d David added.<\/p>\n
Raising medically complex children requires great emotional strength and the Greeniers said they\u2019ve thought hard about the issues surrounding their decisions, including how they are viewed by minorities for taking in two disabled black children and how other Christians feel about their choices.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere are many people, especially in the Christian community, that wanted to know well, why are we keeping him from going to see Jesus instead of staying here with us?\u201d David said of Shyheim. \u201cAre we doing this for him or are we doing it to him?\u201d<\/p>\n
For two children with little mobility or cognitive function, \u201cWhat is the standard of quality of life, how do you measure that? Really, we measure that in the child\u2019s desire to live,\u201d David said.<\/p>\n
Because doctors are constantly on rotation in hospitals and \u201ceach doctor wants to make sure that they\u2019re hearing from you clearly what your wishes are \u2026 every week you\u2019re having to talk about the life and death of your son,\u201d Terri said.<\/p>\n
When they finally made the decision to remove Shyheim from life support, doctors said he would linger for several hours, but instead he died within 10 minutes.<\/p>\n
After adopting Max, the Greeniers took in a little girl named Erica, who also suffers from a host of serious, but less-debilitating disorders, such as issues with her heart and kidneys.<\/p>\n
They also met Julia, who was 19 at the time, at church, and upon learning of the personal issues she was struggling with, invited her to live with them.<\/p>\n
Eventually, they legally adopted Julia, who also took their name.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe had big issues, and we knew that going into it, but we also knew that more than anything else in the world, she just needed somebody to stop and love her. It was cool because how many parents get picked by their kids?\u201d David said.<\/p>\n
Julia married and moved out of the home, but returned a few weeks ago with her three young children when the relationship turned abusive.<\/p>\n
Their oldest daughter Martha, who is now married, became certified as a home care specialist and now spends her days working in the family\u2019s home, taking care of her younger siblings.<\/p>\n
Benjamin, who was primarily home schooled, has decided to stay home and help care for his siblings as well.<\/p>\n
Hannah \u2014 whose \u201cspecial need\u201d is that she craves affection, David joked \u2014 is also devoted to the family, and though Sarah is studying at a Christian college in Canada, she stays in close contact with those at home and said she expects to return and become a teacher one day.<\/p>\n
The Greeniers know what people must think about their unusual lifestyle, and they and Benjamin laughed off assumptions that they raise their children in some kind of super-religious cult. Both Terri and David are extremely open with their children about their own checkered pasts, and they say they want their children to be able to come to them, no matter what problems they might be struggling with.<\/p>\n
While talking about their family, a teenage girl David introduced as Princess walked in from outside and gave kisses and hugs all around.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is one of our blessings: Princess is an unofficial adoption,\u201d David said, to which she replied, smiling, \u201cI wish it was official.\u201d<\/p>\n
They would take in more children if they had the space, and are looking to find a larger, permanent home they can build into a full-blown facility for special-needs care. David said he envisions a community-type structure where older, retired individuals can come help care for children and young kids can learn how to raise crops and become self-reliant.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe’ve learned a lot through these kids. \u2026 We know that we\u2019re making a difference when people see what we\u2019re doing and they love what we\u2019re doing,\u201d David said. \u201cPeople have said they want to come live with us and help raise these children, and that just blows us away.\u201d<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not the family they expected, but they say they wouldn’t change anything.<\/p>\n
\u201cHad we known what we were going to go through with them when we first started this, we would have run away in fear. But since then, many people have come to us and said, \u2018You know, God bless you guys because there\u2019s no way I could ever do that,\u2019\u201d David said. \u201cAnd they\u2019re right. You can only do what you\u2019re called to do.\u201d<\/p>\n
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